he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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