physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
