Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
All the doctor said was why
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
