Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
as a side note pls kill me
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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