so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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