I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
