Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
