no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
