The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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