You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
