is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
