Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
