my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
