Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
