Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
