well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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