i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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