this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
