Just mADE A PArabola og urine
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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