I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
