How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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