Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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