How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
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