Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
