Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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