My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
