even my farts smell like vagina
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
You are a genius and a whore.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
