he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
