i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
