It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
