i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
