Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
