Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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