Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
