smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
