Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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