He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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