She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
