My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I am naked and annoyed.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize