i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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