i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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