yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
