You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
