So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
operation have a gay friend backfired
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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