You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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