you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
