From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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