MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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