Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
