Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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