i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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