Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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