He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
