I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize