that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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