is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
