So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Your cock deserves a montage
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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