Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
