It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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