Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Someone came in the potted fern
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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